The Other Side Of The Wall
by D.M. Fields
Summary: Deadpool is in my living room
1. Chapter 1

This has got to be the worst birth day of my life. Her I Alysia Bishop hand cuffed to a chair with two fat guys yelling at me. If you have not guessed it yet I'm in some police headquarters in god knows were being interrogated on my birthday. Now, what the hell I was doing, you may ask. The answer is nothing I was doing absolutely nothing. If I wanted to I guess I could pull the, "it's because I'm Black" card, but I honestly doubt that. So why am I here I ask myself, why? I think it all started four months ago.

-Four months ago-

I had just gotten home from my college graduation and I was depressed. My mother had just informed me that now that I was an adult, I had one year to get a job and move the hell out or risk having to start working for her. Most people would thing working for your parents would be the best gig in the world! Trust me it's not.

My mother is sewage cleaner. Yep, that's right my mother spends her whole day cleaning up other peoples shit. She steps in shit, she is up to her waist in shit, and she sometimes gets shit in her hair. When she comes home at 11:50 she feels like, smells like, and even looks like, guess what, **SHIT!** The worst part was when she tried to tell stories of what happen at work.

"Oh honey you'll never guess what I found down there today!"

"Let me guess mom… shit, shit, oh and more shit."

"No… Well yes, but that's not it I found this big hairy,"

"I'm out of here, bye"

The sad thing is everyone in my family work either for or with her. Almost every one that is, I absolutely refused to go into the family bissnuss. Let's face it that is one shitty job no matter how good the pay is.

On the bright side I got the whole house to myself for that year. Mom's job would sometimes send her to different countries to clean up sewage pipes and to teach other people about her job. This would take three months at most, but mom took four jobs, one after the other, so she could take the next year off.

Either way I was having some very mixed emotions at the time. I was in a desperate need to take mind off the subject when I found a VHS tape in the mail. The first thing I noticed was that it had in big bold letters it had **DO NOT WATCH** on the front. Any sane person who has seen The Ring knows not to look at strange movies that arrive in the mail. But let's face it who in this world is sane and who can resist doing what they are told not to do? Not me that who.

I dug my old VCR out from the bowels of the hell that is my closet. Pushing the last piece of clothing out of the way I found it hidden under a box of illegal fireworks (that of course was not mine). Grabbing the VHS and my metal bat I walked down stairs to go hook it up to the flat screen in the living room.

The living room was nothing special. We had a leather sofa and a leather loveseat. A dark mahogany coffee table.

After an hour of trying to hook the damn thing up, everything was finally ready. I had made some popcorn and grabbed a soda before finally taking my seat in front of the TV. Pushing play on the remote I began to get cozy as the movie started to play. The movie was just a white screen when right as I was about to turn it off when sunnetly a loud "BONZIIIIII" was heared and something came flying throw the TV.

A man about 5'8" stood apon what had been my family's coffee table. He wore a red and black mask with a maching jump suit. Looking around he turned to face the TV.

"Did I make it? I made it, WHOOP, screw you physics! The fourth was has been nocked down! It took countless years but I made it! WHOO-HOO!"


	2. Chapter 2

For a while I just starred at him. _Now_ I know why people just stand there like an idiot when a monster comes out of televisions. Although the difference between me and them was I had a metal bat in hand. Keeping as quite as possible, I snuck to where I had left the bat. Apparently he still had not realized that I was there, because he was still talking to himself. With one good swing to the head he was out like a light.

'You know, times like those people need an easy button', I thought while calling the 911. I can't believe that mom thought I couldn't take care of myself, please. I had taken a nice good look at my bat and just for fun I held it up in the air yelling "Alysia Wins."You know, in that dramatic Mortal Kombat fashion.

Apparently that was enough to wake him up because I heard a load groan and an "Ow, my head". One last swing took care of that, real quickly. But all fun and games put aside I had to call the cops. But what if he woke up again, or OMGawsh what if I had killed him, much help the cops would have done then.

To make thing simple I had decided to tie him up in the basement first and then call the cops next. Grabbing a chair, a pair of hand cuffs (that were a gift from one of my friends), and some rope from the garage as I worked my way down to basement. Next came the hard part, trying to that guy down there too. First I tried to drag him down the stairs, which was a fail, it took almost all my strength just to get him in the kitchen. Then I tried to roll him to the basement door which was an epic fail, because I was still in my dress but at least I got him there. Last came the hardest part getting him down the stairs. I couldn't dag him down because I used up all my energy just getting him to the door and I couldn't roll him down because the door wasn't wide enough.

"Oh, COME ON!", I had yelled in frustration kicking the door frame, stubbing my toe in the process, once again that was a bad idea. "Ow Ow Ow", repeated over and over again while holding my hurt foot and hoping on the other, completely forgetting the fact that there was an unconscious mad man on the ground at my feet. Next thing I knew I was falling through the air. The only thing I could get out was a shaky "Whoa" before I completely face planted the ground. I felt some one sit on me the second I was on the ground. Ignoring the fact that I bit my tuong, I tried to turn my head toward the person sitting on me. Looking up slightly I saw that man, the one that was supposed to be unconscious, sitting on my back twirling the hand cuffs on his finger. He looked down towards me (or at least seemed to look down, hard to tell with the mask and all) as if he just realized what he was sitting on.

"Why hello, what are you doing down there?" he said sounding shocked. Of course I did the only sensible thing I could do at the moment; I started kicking and scream my head off.

"My god lady, you really got a pair of pipes on you, huh. Say why are you yelling any way?"

"You're sitting on me you freak! Get the fuck off!" (I was still screaming).

"You know, I don't think I appreciated you speaking to me with that tone." He said crossing his arms and sticking his nose up in the air.

"Get off of me! (Yep still screaming)

"What the magic word?"

"Now!" Using all the strength I had left I arched my back forward, causing him to fall through the open basement door and down the stairs. I could hear the sound of crashing and possibly the sound of braking bones…Opps. I remember stumbling down the stairs in my heels trying to see if he was alright. When I got to the bottom I quickly cheaked to see if he still had a pulse, which he did thank god. Once again he was unconscious. I sighed, I couldn't beleave what I was going through. I picked him up by his shoulders and dragged him to the center of the room. As fast as I could, which was most likely at a snail's pace at that piont, I went back up stairs to get the chair, the rope and the hand cuffs. Coming back down the stairs, I had everything dragged behind me. I tied the crazy guy in to the chair and hand cuffed him to it. I took a step back to admir my work, I thought I did a good job. I THOUGHT. Going back up stairs, the first thing I did was get changed, like I'm meeting the cops in a cocktail dress.


	3. Chapter 3

I remember walking down the stairs rubbing my head. How on earth was I going to explains the guy I have tied up in the basement to the police? Or worse, to my mother! I was so focused on coming up with a good explanation that i didn't even notice all the noises coming from the kitchen. It wasn't until I was standing at the entrance of the kitchen that I heard the sound boxes moving. I froze, someone was going through my fridge. SHIT! My was left in the living-room down the hall and I had no other means of protecting my self.

Well, no other means than the conveniently placed frying-pan located on the kitchen stove. Easy Button is once agin needed. All I would have to do is sneak pass the island, to the stove before being caught and, boom, nighty night creep number two. That should have been a pice of cake. So long as the floor boards don't CREAK! Shit, shit, shit, god damn floor boards! One step and I'm already screwed. Whoever was going through my fridge stopped and slowly started to close the door. I could not believe what I was seeing. It was the same guy I had tied up in the basement. But how was that possible? I used hand cuffs for Pete's sake!

The man had pulled his mask up half way, revealing scar covered skin and what was left of last nights pizza stuffed in his mouth. We stood staring at each other for at least three minutes. Me with my mouth gaping open and him chewing cold pizza.

"Okay, I know what this looks like and can explain everything. Just don't freak out," said the creep eating my pizza. My eyes flicked from him to the frying pan and then to to the phone that started ringing. "Don't!" I inched closer to the phone. "Hey kid. I said don't." Another step toward the phone." I was so close to the phone I could have reached out my hand touch it. Sadly I did just that, was even about to say "hello", before I was tackled to the floor and had the phone snatched out of hand.

"Hello? Alysia?"

Why of all the people in the world did it have too be my Mother?

"Hello? Who's this?"

I opened my mouth to scream for help only to the barrel of a gun shoved in it.

"Oh hi Mrs. Alysia's mother... Um, yes..." He glanced down at me. "She's a little busy right now... Sure thing... Will do... Okay... Good bye now... Bye,bye." He pushed the end call button and sighed. "What a nice lady. Oh yeah you. Your mom says hi." Shit. He was staring me now. "Okay, I'm going to take this gun out of your mouth now and you are not going to scream, understand?" At the time it was really hard to talk with a gun in my mouth so I just nodded my head. "Okay, good. On three. One. Two." On three I screamed like every blonde girl in every horror movie known to man. It had worked pretty well; he was so busy covering his ears, he didn't even notice me reaching for the frying pan. He did notice when slapped him across the face with it though.

I crawled out from under him while he was holing his head. Using the conter top I pulled my self up.

"Hey, kid. Wait?"

"Go away." I screamed throwing a toster at his face as he lunged after me.

"Ow! Easy, easy! I just want to talk!"

"No get the hell out of my house! The money's in the safe behind the painting in the living room! Just leave me alone!" I yelled throwing the spice rack.

"Whoa. I don't want your money." I stopped mid throw and stood in shock as he picked himself up.

"What?"

"I don't want your money!"

"Oh My God! He's going to rape me! Help! Some body Help! Help!" I grabbed the stake knife holder and pulled out one of the knives. "Stand back you freak! I know how to use this!" I yelled throwing it at him.

"Easy kid! You could seriously hurt someone. I just want to talk," He said slowly as he took a step closer, "and I even promise not to rape you." I knew this was going to be the stupidest decision of my life, but temptation's a bitch.

"What do you want?"

"Wait? That's it? Well okay." He straighten up. "I am known as the one and only Deadpool, The merc with the mouth, and I have waited for a long time for some one to watch that tape. You see I'm from a different dimension and its kind of hard to..."

"Bullshit! You expect me to believe that you're a comic book character!"

"No really! I'm Deadpool! Thee Deadpool!"

"And I said bullshit! Look man you leave my house right now, I'll promise no to call the cops." I was still refusing to put the knives down.

"I am Deadpool and I can prove it." My heart had froze as I watched him bring the gun he was still holding up to his head.

"What dude don't!" I yelled dropping the knives and lunging for the gun. Bang! "No!" I caught his body as it fell to the floor. "OH MY GOD! No! No! No!" His head was in my lap, blood was spilling out all over my pants and the floor. I had no idea what to do. Do I stop the bleeding or was that pointless. I reached up and grabbed some dish rags and started to stop the bleeding. By that point tears were falling from my eyes. "What am I going to do?" I cried in to my hands.

"There, there. It's ok."

"No it's not. How on earth am I going to...? What?" I looked down. The man, or Deadpool as he called himself, was waving at me. "Holy shit!" I screamed as i pushed his head off of me.

"Gotcha ya. You should see the look on your face!" I couldn't believe it! There I was crying me eyes out over a guy that broke into my house, shot himself in the head, and was now laughing at me for it.

"But how is that even possible? You'd have to be like a...a..."

"Comic book superhero." At a lost of words I just nodded.

"But how?"

"Is this possible? I'm glad you asked! You see it all started with..."The sound of chapel bells had begun to ring through the house. "What the?"

"Shit! It's the door bell!"


	4. Chapter 4

I got up to go open the door when the sound of knocking started to sound. I had no idea who was at the door nor did I care. I had a guy that claimed the he was a comic book character in my kitchen, could survive a bullet to head, and I would be damned if I didn't get answers. I was almost out of the kitchen when I was tackled to the ground.

"Get off of me! "

"No can do. I cant risk you telling the cops on me. " the man, I was still refusing to call Deadpool, had pushed my face into the ground and pinned my arm behind back.

"Cops? What cops? The chances of the cops," I groaned pulling my self out from underneath him, "being out side is like a million to one. So get off! You weigh a ton!" Thankfully he let up because I was starting to lose feeling in my arm. He was even nice enough to help me up, by my hair. What a nice guy. "Ow, ow, ow let go of me hair I hissed smacking his hand. "I'm just going to tell whoever is out there to go away, while you stay here, maybe, help your self to some more of that pizza you were eating and when I get back you're going to explain what just happen. Get it? Got it? Good." I started for the door once a again. But then stopped to turned and look at him. "Stay quiet."

I hadn't even turned down the hallway when the door bell sounded again. It took a moment to unlock and open the door. but when i did, I wanted to face palm so bad. "Hello officers! How can I help you?" There stood my neighbor Mrs. Kwiil, a round piggish women, along with two police officers. Both of the cops had their hands on their guns.

"We got a call from your neighbor her," the taller of the two cops stated, gesturing toward , "saying that she was hearing some disturbing sound coming from this house and was concerned."

"No I didn't. I said I heard a bunch of hellish screaming and wanted it to stop. It's bad enough I have to live next to you miscreants, I don't want to have to hear in side my house as well!" She huffed.

"Okay... Sorry I must have had my music on too loud. So I'll keep it down. Bye." I waved, took a step back, and was about to close the door when the fatter of the two cops stopped me.

"Hay, Miss. What happened to you.?" He was pointing to my blood soaked pants.

"Oh I was, um, painting and the red just got everywhere!" There was a sudden crash behind me. Shit.

"What the hell was that?" Both officers had their guns out, ready to shoot anyone and any thing. I was really starting to hate my life.

"That's my dog! He probably just slipped on the paint or something. I should go check on him. Bye!" I replied slamming the door on all tree of them. After locking the door, I tried listening in on what was going no outside.

"That's weird, they don't have a dog." crowed. I really hated that lady.

"Really? Well me and Officer Thomson here will patrol back around to tomorrow. Call again if there are any more problems." I continued listening until I heard a car drive off.

"What are we listening to?" I wanted to scream my head off! Turning around i saw him leaning against the door as well.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Those where cops out there! What were you even doing?"

"I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so. And I was try to look for towels."

"Why were you looking for towels?"

"To clean up the blood! I just happened to slip on my own blood is all. So... How'd it go?"

"Ugh! Horrible. The my neighbor was the one that called cops, and the cops didn't even believe me and... Wait why the hell am I telling you? You have five seconds to explain everything or I call the cops back here?" We stared each other down for a while. "Well? Lets just start with how you survived that gun shot. "

"Healing factor."

"A what?"

"Thing that lets speeds up healing."

"Okay... Are you really Deadpool?"

"Lady, did the bluet to the head mean nothing? I get shoot in the head at least ten times a day. If anything that has got to be my calling card or something. How many people do you know that can do that. I know like 1,2...45. Ya know what never mind."

"For a second lets say I believe you. How did you get here?"

"The tape's a portal from my world to yours, used to help me travel here."

"Is anyone else coming here?"

"No?"

"Can you leave the way you came?"

"I guess."

"Awesome! Get the fuck out of my house."

"What?"

"I'll start the tape again and you can leave. Like right now." I started on my way to the living room.

"But..."

"Nope no buts. You need to leave." I rounded the corner to see a large pile of what use to be my VHS along with the tape that was in side off it. "Oh come on! What the hell? What did you do?"

"I tried to tell you, but no its gotta be your way or the high. Ya know you really should consider listening to people more. When I slipped on on the "

"Fuck you! How are you supposed to go back home now?"

"Heck if I don't know. But it's not like we didn't send out more than one tape."

"We? Who the hell is we? You know what forget it. I have to go somewhere." I turned around and walked in to the kitchen, to look for my keys.

"Really? Where? Can I come?"

"No. You can stay here, for now, and clean up this mess." I replied looking for my shoes.

"Come on. Do you really want to leave me here? All by my self? Think about it." I did think about it and what I was thinking did not end well.

"Fine."


	5. Chapter 5

I'm a genus. That was the thought that rang through my mind over and over again. I'm a fucking genus. There I was stuck in bumper to bumper traffic with Deadpool, of all people, listening to Bad Romance as if it was the most normal thing in the world. My car was an old, beat up, dirt brown truck handed down to me by my older brothers. Each one of my seven brothers used this truck as there first set of wheels, so need less to say the car had problems. The seats were worn to the point that some of the stuffing was coming out of torn holes in the back. The radio could onIy pick up two stations, news and country, which was why we were listening to my iPod. I had the widows down to let in the occasional breeze, since my air conditioning was broke. Deadpool was busy making faces at a kid in the SUV to to the right, while I bang my head against the steering wheel. People were starting to stare at him while we crept along the interstate. I needed to get rid of him... fast and I had just the plan to do so.

"So, who's the head honcho around here?" Deadpool asked twirling one of his guns in the air as he looked out the window. I glanced at him with a raised eye brow.

"What on earth are you talking about and would you put that thing down? Do you want people thinking we're about to go rob a bank or something'!" I kept my eyes on the on the car in front of me. The license plate read 'U DO 55' and right below that a bumper sticker read 'Horn Broke. Watch For Finger' in big, bold letters. That was funny.

"You know, who's the local superhero around here? Do they work days or nights? Come on, something!" He had to be kidding. I looked to see my exit coming up. I just need to distract him a little bit more. Taking a deep, calming breath and turned my right turn signal on.

"We have no superheroes here the in this here nor anywhere for that matter. They don't exist." I took the exit and made a right at the light. "By the way, what's your real name? You do have a real name,right?" I was so close to finishing the plan, just one more turn.

"Of course I have a real name! It's Wade." As he spoke I turn on to a dirt road shaded by large trees. "Um... Where are we going again?" I said nothing as we passed a big sign saying 'Sunny Peak Sanitarium', another sign that read 'Please Do Not Pick Up Any Hitch Hikers', and the last sign that told you which way to the check in gate. About a mile from the gate stood a large gothic building covered in ivy. Dead flower beds formed a path up to the large black metal door. It didn't take me long to find a parking spot, since very few people ever car here.

"I'm just here to visit an old friend of mine, they're cool don't worry. You can come in if you want just leave the gun. They have metal detectors in side." Turned off the truck, got out, and started walking toward the main building. The relief I felt when I heard the passenger door open and closes, was beyond words. I was so closes to being rid of this guy it wasn't even funny. I looked to see if he left the gunsight the car and lucky for me he did.

"So... Who's your friend?"

"Uh? Oh he's a doctor here. We met him while i was interning here for college." We entered the old building through the main entrance into the visitors lobby. "Wait here. I have to go check us in." He took a seat next to a small plastic tree and picked up a magazine. I almost ran to the front desk in joy. He was falling for it!

"Hey ," I called as i walked toward the front desk. Gooslin was the middle aged woman that maned the front desk. With her whitening dark red hair, her overly caked on blue eye shadow, and crooked teeth that always had something stuck in them Annabelle was text book definition trashy. She seemed to never me in a good mood when she was sober and when she was drunk she would never shut up. She knew everything and everyone. There was not a single piece of gossip in the world that did not git passed her. "I'm here to check in a new patient." She flashed me her crooked smile while handing me the check in forms.

"Wonderful, a new nut case. As if I wasn't surrounded by enough of them. Where did you pick up this one up." She looked pasted me at Deadpool. He was reading 'Cosmo' giggling to himself as if he was a teenage girl with his feet kicked up on to the small coffee table. "Well he looks like a fighter. I might have to call the orderlies on this one. Where did you find him, in one of your little nerd parties? If you ask me anyone wiling to go out dressed like that is a nut," she pulls out one of those e-cigarettes, took a few puffs and looked back at me, "and should be locked in here 'till they learn some damn scents."

I almost laughed. But instead I chose to just pout and give her the 'not now' look.

"I found him walking along the high way. When I stopped to ask what was wrong with him he pulled out a gun and tried to shot me. I managed to calm him down and convince him to get help," I lied continuing to fill out the paper work.

"That's no surprise you always seemed to have a way with the loons'," she seemed to remember something when she gasped, "Which reminds me! What happen between you and... Ah... What was his name? Porkey, Jorkey, Dorkey? Even I thought it wold last. You two were such a cute couple."

"Dr. Marco Horkey? He still works here right?" Marco was my boyfriend. We met when I was just an intern. He was one of my mentoring doctors. We would both stay late nights working on paperwork together, reviewing patient profiles together, and things just started to happen one thing after the next. We started going out on a few dates, but I had no idea anyone knew about the relationship. Or that we were no longer together.

"Oh yes I remember now that one. Dorkey. Honestly I don't know what you saw in him. You can do so much better, darlin'."

"What are you talking about?" She looked at me with wide eyes.

"Oh dear!"


	6. Chapter 6

"Ann what is going on?" She pulled out a pen and paper and started to write something on it.

"Here take this," she said placing the paper in my hand, " It's my number. I know a guy. Ya know just in case you you wanna take Dorkey out."

"Ann what the HELL are you talking about?"

"Come on you know take him out, have him sleeping with the fishes, make sure he's six feet under, liquidate," she scowled at my confused expression, " I sayin' I might know a guy that can kill him for you! Jeez! You would think a girl with your smarts would understand simple English!" Why on earth would I want to kill my boyfriend? The confusion must have shown on my face because she pointed her pen in the direction of Marco's office.

"Go, you'll see. I'll take care of the loon for ya," with that she pushed the summoning button. A group of orderlies walked in to the walked in to the lobby through a pair of heavy oak doors. I walked passed them as they made their way toward Wade. Just before I walked through the heavy oak doors I heard a bunch of yelling behind me. I turned around to see Deadpool with an orderly clinging to each of his legs, one orderly holding his left arm, another orderly on his back trying to put him in a head lock, and the last orderly lying on the floor holding his now broken nose. I had to admit I felt a little bit guilty, but then the memory of being sat on cane back to mind and just like that I stopped caring.

On the other side of the doors things were a lot quieter. You could here the lights creaking back and forth as they swung. My sneakers made hardly any sound on the checkered tile floor. I made a left passing by a few wandering patients and a couple of security guards that rushed past (most likely to the lobby). After a few more turns and an elevator ride I finally made it to my destination. Room A356, Dr. Marco J. Horkey's office. Out of habit I just walked in with out knocking. To my horror I walked in on my boyfriend and what looked like a nurse having sex on the office desk.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!"

"Alysia!" He stopped what he was doing and tried to make himself decent, "Wh-what are you back here? You weren't supposes to start work here until 7th!"

"And that what? Gives you the right to fuck around. And who the hell is this?" I screamed pointing at the now fully clothed nurse.

"Baby who is this and why the hell is she bitching at me? I thought you said you were single." She started fixing hair.

"BABY? Single!"

"Misty shut your damn mouth. Alysia, sweetheart, I was going to tell you, but you just seemed so wrapped up in school I didn't what to distract you from your studies." He reached out toward me and laid his hand on my shoulder. "Honey I never wanted to hurt you."

"Eww! Get your hands off of me! You lying asshole!" I pushed his hand off of me and stormed out the door. I was only able to take one step out of the door before Misty decided to open her mouth.

"That's right! Get lost you stupid bitch!"

Bitch mode activated. I turned around, marched right up to that dumb slut and punched out her lights with a right hook. She would have a bruise on her left cheek for the next month of so, along with a massive headache when she woke up. As I made my way back out of the office Marco went to see if she was alright.I made to the main hall that connected to the lobby before Marco made to me.

"Aly! Will you stop and talk to me."

"And what are we going to talk about? How you're a lying, cheating asshole that -"

The lobby doors burst open with a security guard being sent flying through them. The guard hit the ground with ground with a load smack and slid until is hit the wall at the other end of the hall. Deadpool came running in soon after gripping a plastic tree in his hands as a makeshift weapon. I looked past him, past the still gaping doors, and to the lobby to see dozens of orderlies laying unconscious on the ground . My focus came back on to Wade when he tossed aside the tree and came marching toward me. Oh shit!

"Hey!" He shouted.

I froze. Then I turned to glance at Marco. When I looked back at Wade he was already in front of me. Playing dumb I pointed at myself like 'who me'.

"Yeah, you! I'm down here bustin' my ass, getting attacked while you're out here talking to Dr. Oz. How is that fair?"

"What? Pfft! I didn't know you were being attacked. You should have said something, man! I would've like totally helped or something." I lied through my teeth, while taking a step back.

"I don't know what is going. But, sir I'm going to have to ask you to come with me," Marco interjected as he took a step in between Wade and I. Leave it to him to always try to be the hero.

"Beat it Phil, me and Oprah need to have a serious chit-chat."

"I'm afraid i'll have to insist." Marco put his hand on Wade's shoulder. Even I could tell that was a mistake. Deadpool head butted Marco's face braking his nose in the process. Holding his bleeding nose Marco fell to the floor in a heap.

"Now where was I? Oh yeah you," Deadpool started advancing toward me again, "You set me up!"

"What no I didn't! I- I came to see a friend. Remember? Besides you... You," I started looking for any type of excuse that could get me out of this mess and then I found one. "Besides you have an needle sticking out of your butt!"

"What?" He turned around, "We'll when did that get there?"

"Hold still I got it." As I got closer and closer I noticed that the syringe was still full of liquid. This could work. Taking the syringe in hand i pushed the pump down, injecting the sedative, before pulling it out. "See? Got it!"

"Good now back to business. You tried to set me u-" Deadpool fell unconscious be fore he got to finish. That was some fast acting sedative. I decided to leave before he got the chance wake up for the third... Fourth... Ninth time today ( I lost count). I to my truck as fast as possible, not stoping for any thing or any one.

Not even for Ms. Ann as she yelled " You have my number Al!"

Once I got to my truck I took a long breath. Now came the hard part, covering up the evidence.


	7. Chapter 7

It took what was left of my will power to not speed way from 'Sunny Peak Sanitarium'. After watching Wade pull a 'Kurt Cobain' I had serious doubts that the sedative would keep him knocked out for long and if his reaction back at Sunny Peak was any indication he was going to be pissed when he woke up.

By the time I got home it was almost 9:30 pm. To say I was exhausted would have been an understatement. I spent my day sitting through the longest graduation in history only to find out that my mom was giving me four months to move out and get a job; when I already had a job lined up. But that job is now up in blown because I left my future boss lying on the ground with a broken nose and the guy that broke his nose not only broke into my house, but is a comic book character (that quite possibly is going to be coming after me when he wakes up).

I couldn't even crawl up stairs and go to bed. No I had to clean up the blood stains left all over the kitchen. It took me 15 minutes to find the mop and another 10 to look up on google how to clean blood stains off hard wood floors. I gave up after 30 minutes of continuos scrubbing. The blood stains could stay their for all I cared, it gave the floor more character. I moved on to the living room, picked up the remains of what once was a VCR and tossed it in the trash. I sighed heavily as I sank in to the cool leather cushions of my couch, before turning on the tv. I wasn't paying any attention to the many commercials that showed up on the screen; I wanted to o was sleep. Thankfully, my local news channel always managed to put me sleep fairly quickly.

I was almost fully asleep when a news bulletin started blaring.

"This just in, a newly checked in patient at 'Sunny Peak Sanitarium' has gone on a rampage earlier today, killing 26 people. These people included 20 staff members, 2 local citizens visiting family, and 4 patients. The police officer that was questioned is quoted saying "it's to soon to tell but it would appear that these people were killed with a combination of syringe needles, various blunt force objects, and the killers bare hands!  
>As you can see from this video, taken by a security camera, that this man is masked and dangerous.i regret to inform that this man has not been apprehended. The authorities have stated that it will not be long before an arrest will be made.<p>

Shit.

I sat there motionless for a few seconds in absolute awe of what I saw. It wasn't until the phone started ringing that I realized that I stopped breathing. I quickly shot up to answer the it.

"H-he-hello?"

"Alysia!? What's wrong? You sound terrified!" Oh thank god its just mom.  
>"Oh hey mom. No I-uh-I'm fine. I was just ,um, thinking of calling you."<p>

"Really? That's good to here. Why?"

"It seems I'm going to be moving out sooner than expected."

"WHAT!? Why? This doesn't have something to do with that Micro boy dose it? I told you he was no good." I rolled my eyes.

"No mom it has nothing to do with MARCO. But we're no longer together, happy?"

"Actually,yeah. Honestly you can do better sweetie. But enough 'bout that. So why ya so intent on leaving the nest? You've got five more month."

"Yeah, I know," I continued to watch the tv, "I just thought why procrastaine? You know?" I face palmed. My lies were really starting to suck.

"Okay... I'll bite. Before your father died he put some money away for you to have when you got old enough. You can use that to help you get a new place for sure. I wish I could be there in person to give it to you. I love sweetheart."

"Aw mom I love you too!"


	8. Chapter 8

I remember waiting in line at the Bank of America for almost a hour. The old lady in front of me smelt like bad perfume and the guy behind me kept giggling like a five year old. The clerk called for the next person in line and everyone took a combined step forward. At lest I was in the front of the line. The man behind me was still giggling his ass off. Out curiosity I glanced back at him. He looked rather ugly looking with his short brown hair, crooked glasses, and scruffy beard. The man broke out in to a huge, creepy grin when he noticed me looking at him. What a creep. I whipped my head towards the clerk's when one of them called for the next person. I quickly made my way to the open window.

"Hello. How can I help you today?" the clerk smile.

"Hello I'm here to retrieve some items in a safety deposit box?" I honestly had no idea what was doing.

"Alright, what is your name?"

"Alysia Bishop." She did some typing into the computer when a loud buzzing sounded.

"I'm sorry that names not registered here."

"Um... Try Mathias Blackburn. He's my father." She typed it into the computer. A 'ding' sounded.

"There is a box under that name and it says here that the only ones aloud to access it are Mr. Blackburn, a Mrs. Bridgette Bishop, and a... Ms. Alysia Bishop! Can I see some ID?" I dug through my purse until I found my wallet and pulled out my drivers licenses. After the clerk verified it she told me to make my way to the back doors where someone would be able to help me further. As I walked I took one last look at the ugly dude that had stood behind me as I passed him. He grinned and waved at me before walking to the clerk I had just left. What a creep. When I reached the back door the man waiting for me greater me with a smile and ushered me through. He guided pass a huge vault and into a small room with no windows.

"Please wait here." He pointed to a chair that sat in front of a table, before leaving out the room. It wasn't long before there was a knock and the man returned withe a large metal box in his hands. He placed it on the small table in front of me before unlocking it and then leaving the room. I eagerly opened the box's lid.

" Holy Shit!"

In side had to be at least a thousands of dollars in hundred dollar bills, along with what looked like expensive jewelry. Where was all that money when I need help with college?! I had to firmly hold on to the armrest of the chair to keep from falling out. When I finally calmed down enough to look in to the box again I saw a piece of folded paper. Slow I pulled it and unfolded it.

Dear Ally cat,  
>If you are reading this then I'm probably dead and the money you see is from some of my life insurance. Sorry I could not be there in person to give it to you. The jewelry was your grandmothers.<br>Sincerely ,  
>Mathias<p>

I could feel tears starting to form. It was just like him to write such a blunt letter. Sighing as I refolded the letter and stuck it in my pocket. I started putting stacks of money and jewelry in my purse before exiting the room. When I made it to the main room I froze in my tracks. There were people on the floor covering their heads. Some were even crying and begging for their lives.

"Hey you finally came out!" My head snapped up. The ugly guy that stood behind me in line was now holding two very familiar guns and was pointing them at a clerk that was busy filling a plastic Taco Bell bag with cash. "Remember me?" The hostages in the room started raising their heads to look at me with eyes full of fear.

"I don't know know who you are or what's going here but please just let me and everyone else go. You don't have to do this." I slowly got on my knees and was about to mimic the the other hostages. I thought I could use my psychology degree to talk him in to letting the all the hostages go.

"What- oh right," the man lowered one of his hands on to his belt buckle and pushed a button. There was a flash of bright light and when it cleared up my jaw dropped along with any hope of leaving this place alive.

"Wade!"

"The one and only... Most of the time. Here, think fast!" He tossed one of the guns to me. Some how I caught it. "Babysit the hostages while I clean out the vault, won't you? Oh and by the way, I'm really not mad about the whole 'you leaving me passed out on the floor of your local loony bin thing. Honest."

"What?!"

"So here," he handed my another empty Taco Bell bag, " go collect some wallets and I'll be back in a sec!" With that he walked past me, through the door, and into the back rooms.

"Wait! What?" I turned around just in time to have the door closed in my face. When I turned back to face the crowd of hostages they were all staring at me intently. A baby on one side of the room started crying and the mother was trying desperately to quiet it down. I dropped the gun in the plastic Taco Bell bag and the Taco Bell bag in a near by trash can, before I made my way to a clerk. Suddenly there was gunfire in the back room followed by loud curses. I tripped and fell face first to the ground right in front of the bank clerk. "Did you contact the cops?" I grumbled while rubbing my face.

"N-no no! Please don't hurt me! I have kids! Here," she shoved a Taco Bell bag full of money in to my hands, "I don't want any trouble."There was more gunfire in the back room. Tears were starting to form in poor clerk's eyes.

"No no don't cry," I handed her back the money, "I'm not going to hurt you. Just go push the button or flip the switch the calls the police." She look surprised but nodded her head. I turned to look a the all the hostages in the room. "Attention everybody there is psycho in the back room. I have nothing to do with to do with this bank robbery. If you value your life you will take out your phone and dial 9-1-1. Then proceed in a clam, orderly manner through your nearest exit. Fore most of us that will be the front door." Nobody moved. "Do I really have to say it twice? Run damn it! Run!" All of the hostages got up and made a had rush for the nearest door. As soon as I was sure the only person left in the bank was Wade I ran to my truck as fast as I could. Once I got in I locked my door, leaned over locked the passenger door, and started digging through my purse for my keys (only to half way remember they were in my pocket). When I put the keys in the ignition and turned nothing happened. "Oh you gotta be kidding me!" I smacked the radio and the engine roared to life. "Yes!"

"Finally! I thought you would never get this hunk of junk moving." I jumped and turned the direction the voice came from before screaming. Wade was lounging in the passenger seat with one hand behind his head and a gun in the other. "Hi." I screamed again.

"How you-!"

"Get in here?", he gestured for me to look through the back window' "Same Way I loaded all the money in to the back." In the bed of my truck was, what had to be, over a hundred Taco Bell bags filled with money, duck taped to my truck's bed.

"How?"

"Like this!" With his free hand, Wade pushed a button on his belt. In the blink of an eye he was gone!

"Wade?" I turned around in my seat,"Wade?" I looked out the back window just in time to see him walk out of the bank with a second gun. My eyes grew and my mouth dropped. How was that even possible? I was snapped back to reality by the sound of sirens coming from the distance. "Oh crap!"


	9. Chapter 9

After banging my head against the table for almost fifteen minutes. I got up and walked around for a little while but soon got bored of that. When i sat back down I started to drum my hands on the table. I started looking around the room i was being held in. It was a brightly lit room with a table, two chairs, and a one way window. In other words boring. Interrogation rooms suck ass. I was just about to start singing 'Locked up' by Akon when the door opened.

"Good afternoon, I'm Detective Holbrook and this is my partner Detective Townsend. We hope you weren't waiting for long." I'd been sitting in the same chair for over an hour before they walked in. If Detective Holbrook was trying to make a joke it wasn't funny. Holbrook took a seat across from me at the table, while Townsend opted to lean against the wall. "Ms. Bishop do you know why you're here?"

"Nope. I have no idea."

"We just wanna ask you a few questions. Like... What happened at the bank this morning?" Detective Townsend said while pushing off from the wall. He circled the table to stand behind me.

I twisted in my seat to look at Detective Townsend when I spoke. "It was robbed by a psychopath. I walked out in to the main lobby after emptying my father's safety deposit box where some guy was waving guns around like a mad man. When he went in to the back room I got everybody out of the building. I made a run for my before I could take off that psycho punch through my window, opened my door, and pulled me out of the driver's seat. All the while saying, 'Gotta barrow this'. Ya know he almost ran me over! Happy? Clearly I'm not having a very good day so can I please go home now?" Sure I might have omitted a few details, but at least I wasn't lying. This whole ordeal was starting to make me feel sick.

"You're free to leave when ever you want. I would strongly recommend that you don't though." Detective Holbrook's remark quickly gained my attention.

"Really? Why?" My eyes shifted between the two detective skeptically. Detective Holbrook pulled out one of his many files and tossed it in front of me. When I opened it the first thing I see is a large picture, taken by a security camera from inside the bank, of me holding a gun. The next thing I saw was a picture of me talking to Wade at Sunny Peak Sanitarium.

"Armed robbery and mass murder are dangerous crimes Ms. Bishop." It took a moment for what he said to hit me, but when it did I went in to a full blown panic.

"Wait! You don't think that I was actually trying to help Wade, do you? And Murder? Didn't the news say nobody was seriously injured? What is going on? Am I under arrest?" I yelled, shoving the files away in horror.

"Wade? A moment ago it was psychopath, looks like you know more then you're letting on."accused Detective Townsend as he started leaning in closer to me. The combination of Townsend invading my personal space and the stack of incriminating photos in front of me made me want to throw up. I had to leave that room as soon as possible. With out a word I got up, pushed Detective Townsend out of my way, and headed toward the door. After all I was told I could leave when ever I want and at that moment I wanted nothing more than to be somewhere else.

I had just opened the door when Detective Holbrook started talking. "No Ms. Bishop. Every witness that we have spoken to has said the same thing, that you were the one that got all of them out safely. So you're not under arrest, not yet anyway."Detective Holbrook replied before collecting the pictures and leaving his chair. My eyes almost burst from my head at 'not yet anyway'. As if to answer my unspoken question he continued, "We already had knowledge that you knew this man due to security tapes taken from the Sunny Peak Sanitarium. We simply wanted a few questions answered. But if you walk out that door Detective Townsend and I will have no choice but to believe that you're some how in ka-hoots with this man, Wade. I can also guaranty you that we will be at your home tomorrow morning with an arrest warrant if that is what it take to get some answers."

The thought of being arrested made me want to puke and cry at the same time. It must have shown on my face, because Detective Townsend had pulled my chair out and gestured for me to sit back down. I took a step out the door and yelled back, "Well, bring me a large cup of coffee with five sugars and a chocolate sprinkled donut."

I was starting to regret walking out on Detective Holbrook and Detective Townsend before I could reached the front door of the police station. I had know idea how I was going to get home. With no truck, no cellphone, and no money I was stranded. Sadly I thought things couldn't get any worst and chose to walk home. Big Mistake. I only made it a block down the street before it started rain.

"Really!" I screamed at the clouds. My only response was more rain and a load crack of thunder. I thought I hit a lucky brake when a Starbucks appeared around the corner. I was just going to sit there until the storm rolled over or something. Easy enough, right? Wrong! Before I could reach the coffee shop two arms grabbed me from behind. I instantly started kicking and yell "Get off off of me!"

"Gotcha! You know you're a really hard girl to find," laughed Wade.

"Let me go! Let me go you lunatic!" When he started pulling me backwards I started to kick harder. I think I got him in the nuts a few times. "Help! Somebody Help Me!"

"Ow! Jeez! Again with the kick and screaming. We really gotta stop meeting up like this."

"Then stop committing crimes. Get off of me Wade!" I managed to get one of my arms free and started trying pulling a his hands off.

"No can do. The cops have been following you since ya left the station. Now shut up and be thankful."

"Thankful! For what?" I wiggled out of his of his grasp. "For leaving me to take the fall at the bank? Or for making me look like an accessory to mass murder?" The rain started to come down harder like bullets as a flash of lighting broke out across the sky. The sound of thunder broke out soon after.

"Murder? I haven't killed anyone in three... maybe two days tops! Honest! Scouts honor!" Wade replied, three finger salute and all.

"The hell you were a scout!"

"Yes I was! I'm apart of the Canadian Ex-boy Scouts Association, thank you very much!"

"Bullshit, and stop changing the subject!" I took a deep breath and sighed. "Look I'm tired and soaking wet. I don't know who you are, who the hell you think you are, and I don't want to. I'm already in deep shit because of you. Tomorrow two detective are going to come to my home and arrest me, because of you! So please, just leave me alone." I turned and started walking out of the alleyway.

"Wait!" Wade grabbed my arm and pulled me back toward him. "You ever play street fighter?"

"Um... Yeah. Chin-Li all the wa-"

"Shoryuken!"


	10. Chapter 10

I had no idea what time it was when I finally woke up. My head was killing me and my body was sore as hell. I just barley opened my eyes in time to see a giant sign scream 'Come back soon to Bakersfield!' go zooming by. I could instantly tell I was in my truck by the overwhelming smell of smoke ,beer ,and chocolate(Trust me, it smells just as bad as it sounds). That stench was one of the major reasons I always left the windows open while I drove. But this time they were closed. With a loud groan I tried sitting up,to hand crank the window down ,only to remember that the passenger window was broke. Shit.

I could hear the person driving shouting 'All I wanna do is BANG BANG BANG BANG SPIN CHING and take yo money!' At the top of there lungs as though it was the national anthem. Painfully I cranked my head to see who was butchering my one of my favorite songs. To my surprise I saw a man with short brown hair, green eyes, and the body of a god! I sat there staring at him, wondering if I was dreaming. When the song ended "Friday" by Rebecca Black started blasting and the man instantly tore out the cord connecting my iPod to the radio.

"Who the hell likes that song?" The amount of disgusting his voice was truly unnerving. The song isn't not that bad!

Of course the only thing I could think to say was "Me." That caused the mystery guy turned to me with a look of utter shock written across his gorgeous face, that quickly faded in to an equally gorgeous smile. Am I dreaming?

"Look who decided to wake up! Welcome to the land of the living Aly!" He looked just like Channing Tatum!

"Do I know you?"

"What? Of course you know-oh!" at that second a flash of light momentarily blinded me and revealed the current bane of my existence. Deadpool. Shit! Pop goes the dream bubble! "Remember me now?"

"Wha- Wade?" My head was seriously pounding. "Where am I? What happened?" We sat in silence for almost five minutes, before I broke the silence. "Wade what did you do?" It felt like I was talking to a cat that obviously ate the canary.

"I may or may not have performed a classic video game uppercut on your person... Nothing major."That's when it hit me (Pun 100% intended), the last thing I remembered hearing Wade yell!

"You Shoryuken! You fuck'n Shoryuken me! How? Why? Why do my boobs hurt?" I groaned groping around my chess. Thankfully both girls were there.

"Yeah... About that," he took his eyes off the road long enough to throw me a side ways glance. "Maybe the next time some tries to pull you into car you'll just go along with it. As for your boobs, when I went to punch you I was aiming for your face,but I kinda slipped..." My jaw dropped. It felt like I was hit with a truck! Just to add insult to injury he started laughing! "Gotta say, the look on your face when you went flying was priceless!"

"Asshole." I mumbled. I groaned again. "Do you have any idea how much that hurts! Here's a hint! Stop the truck, lets both get out, and then let me kick you in the nuts!"

"I'm gonna say no... But we we're going to be stopping soon anyway. The truck's almost out of-" Before he could finish a loud clunk-cla-clunk sounded, followed by the truck coming to a complete stop. "Well speak of the devil!" Shit. We sat there for almost an hour. Not saying a word. At least I didn't say a word Wade on the other hand wouldn't shut the fuck up!

"-And don't even get me started on chimichangas!"

"That's it Wade!" I yelled, in the middle of his rant. "I hate Mexican food!" That had to be the first time I ever saw the eyes on his mask move. Like really move. I'm talking cartoon 'OMG mouth drop' move. It was creepy as hell. I opened the passenger door and hopped out.

"WHAT! How could you hate Mexican food?" He yelled with his head sticking out the window.

I circled around to the hood of my now dead truck. "I just do!" I lifted the hood. There had to be some gas left in the tank! To my diss may gas was the least of my problems. My alternator belt was turned to shreds, my oil had not been changed in over a year, and my radiator was empty. How the truck made it out as far as it did is beyond me. "Damn it!" I yelled, throwing down the hood.

"Serves you right!", there was a long pause, "Mexican hating bitch." I walked over to the driver side window, ready to go off on a tangent about were he could stick his damn Mexican food when I saw that his mask was half way up. The a-hole was eating!

"Wade," I began slowly, "what the hell are you eating?"

"Yo quiero Taco Bell!" As soon ass he opened his mouth chewed up bits lettuce and sour cream flew out and hit my face. I was two seconds away from throwing up. "You're eating Taco Bell? Seriously? We're in the middle of the damned woods!"

"There was a town like twenty miles back." He shrugged before shoving half a taco into his mouth. I rolled my eyes and waited for him to finish chewing. "Duh!"

I was suddenly aware of just how hungry I was. "Did you at least get my anything?"

"Yeah, Taco Bell, but since someone doesn't like Mexican I'm just going to have to eat it!" was Wade's smug reply as he pulled out, from no where, a burrito and started to eat it.  
>"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY TRUCK!" I pulled open the door and took a step away.<p>

"Alright, alright! It's a piece of junk anyway." Wade jumped out of my truck, still eating that damned burrito. I climb into the drivers seat, slammed the door shut, rolled up the window, and started screaming out my frustration. Two minutes and a sore through later I heard a knock on the window. Reluctantly I rolled it down.

"Feel better?"

"No Wade. I don't feel better!" I turn to him, tears forming in my eyes. "What do you want from me?"

"Hey, every hero needs a sidekick and you seem to be the most qualified." I just rolled my eyes.

"Hero my ass and what even makes you think I would want to be your sidekick?"

"I am a hero! Do you even read my comics? I mean seriously, one second you know me the next I'm a compleat stranger! Make up your mind!" By that point he had grabbed my shoulders and began to violently shake me back and forth. He almost pulled my out of the truck! When he was done I had to grab hold of something just to make the wold stop swaying.

When I could see straight again I replied, "No I don't read you comics or anyone else's for that matter... Ok that's a lie I did read all of Allen Moore's comics." The memory brought a small smile to my face.

"Well that answers kakashishot's question and who the heck is Allen Moore?" Happy memory over.

"Who's question? You know what forget it. You still haven't answered my second question Wade. Give me one good reason why I should be your sidekick. I kinda hate you right now."

"Just one reason? I can think of over 1.2 million. After all, the cops all ready think you stole it. Might as well use some of the money." Deadpool nodded his head toward the truck bed. I turned in my seat and saw that all those money filled Taco Bell bags where still there!

"I can't be bought that easily asshole!" I shouted stubbornly. In all honesty, had it not been Wade making the offer I could have been bought for less than half of 1.2 million dollars. But he doesn't need to know that.

"And wait not only do you get the job opportunity of a life time and over 1.2 million dollars,I'll even through in a NEW CAR!" Wade announced in a perfect tv host voice. My eyes grew in surprise.

"When do I start?" I really wanted a new car...


	11. Chapter 11

Agreeing to be Deadpool's sidekick was the first bad decision in a long (and still growing) line of bad decisions. If someone told me I would one day be an antihero's sidekick, I would have laughed. If someone told me I would someday be Deadpool's sidekick, helping him hide a truck with over half a million dollars in cash in the trunk, and teleporting ten miles to a town called 'Bakersfield', I would have checked their crazy ass into Sunny Peak. But in all honesty, hiding my truck was fairly easy. We just pushed it down a hill and waited for it to hit a tree or something. It was the teleporting that had me thinking twice.

Teleporting may sound like a cool concept, but it's not. It's just not. You're literally taking taking every cell in your body and are violently moving them from one place to another. It hurts! Like a lot! When we arrived I dropped to the ground and started puking up yesterday's breakfast. As soon as I could scrape myself off the ground I started searching my body for any missing parts. All the while, Wade was laughing his costumed ass off.

Eventually we found ourselves in a McDonald's ordering me food. When I got my food we found a table towards the back, out of the way of everybody else, to sit at. Unfortunately the only thing I'd eaten in two days was puked up on the ground somewhere.

At some point Wade turned changed back into that ugly guy from the bank and to this day I still don't know how he does that."I've been meaning to ask you." Wade was reaching for something in what I was guessing was his back pocket. When he turned back around I almost choked my fries!"Why do you own these?" He was hold up my handcuffs!

"Why the HELL do you have those!" I hissed, ripping them away from him. I noticed Deadpool had switched back into his costumes and my semi-loudness had caused people to start looking at us.

"Hey kid! You used those on me." Out of the corner of my eye I saw him making a go for my fries. "Not to mention I asked first!"

"If you must know," I said as I smacked his hand away, "they were a gift from my brother. Well... brothers."

"Brothers? How many you got? Two? Three? Older? Younger?"

I took a long sip of my soda. "Seven and older." No matter who I tell people always have the same reaction.

"Seven!" If people weren't looking at us before the were looking at us now.

"Yell a little louder why don't cha!"

"Sorry! It's just... Seven kids! Wait! No, eight kids. Your mother gave birth to eight screaming brats!"

"No! I'm adopted you ass! Now if you do mined can you please just let me eat my food!" To not leave any room for discussion I unwrapped my burger and shoved almost half of it into my mouth before taking a bite. I had it almost done when the silence was broken. Wade began finger drumming and whistling making it extremely obvious he wanted to ask something. "What?"

"So... Why did your brother give you handcuffs?"

If the table hadn't been bolted to the ground I would have flipped it over. "Oh My Gosh Wade! I haven't eaten in almost two days can I finish my cheese burger in peace!"

"Yeah, yeah! Geez! "

"..."

"So... Do you do anything?"

"Go to hell!" I snapped.

"No really! I'm serious!" I took in a deep breath and slowly started to massage my temples.

"Fine! What are you talking about?" I tried to remain calm if not a little cautious. I had no idea where the conversation was headed and if the previous couple of questions was any indication I was not going to like where it was going.

"I don't know. Superpower, job, hobby? There's gotta be something you can do!" I rolled my eyes before taking a bite out of my burger. I thought about what could pass as a superpower. The uncanny ability to attracted weirdoes? Being able to put up with other peoples shit? Singing my ABC's backwards? Remembering whole movies after only seeing them once? Those all sounded like some awesome powers to me... (Just saying)

"Well I was studying to be a psychiatrist, so I guess that would have been my job. As for hobbies," I shrugged, " I guess watching movies, playing video games, and saving money." I took a quick drink of my Dr. pepper. I knew I sounded sarcastic, but I just didn't care at the time. "Sorry to disappoint, but people on this side of things aren't that interesting. I don't have superpowers. No one does."

For a while no one talked. I assumed he was letting it all soak in. I looked around at the other tables. People were staring out at us. One guy even had his phone out to take pictures. My make up must have been smeared, my hair a frizzy tangle of knots, and my clothes a muddy wrinkled mess! I alone must have looked like a horror movie reject and Wade... Wade looked like a guy in a Deadpool costume. We both must have looked ridiculous.

"If ya ask me," I started, "being the only living thing that can survive a bullet to the head is the least of your problems."

"You're telling me! I'm stuck with another useless sidekick!" Wade pouted, crossing his arms.

"I'm not useless!" I pushed my food aside and crossed my arms. "I kicked your ass didn't I? Twice! And what do you mean by another?"

"Oh, that was a lucky a shot and you know i-!" Out of no where a hand slammed down on Deadpool's shoulder. I followed the hand to a long and muscular arm. The owner of that arm was a boy that had to be in his late teens. He was taller than average and had short blond hair. A jock, I guessed, most likely a football player.

"Hey! Is this guy nothin' you?" Football player guy ask. He this grin on his face that screamed trouble and alcohol on his breath confirmed my suspicions.

"Huh?" I was extremely confused. Who was this guy?

"My friends and I couldn't help but over hear," he looked over his shoulder at a table of snickering guys that were all around the same age, " you and this guy goin' back and forth. So I thought maybe a pretty girl like you bight need a hand." Pretty?

"Um... No?"

"Beat it, she's fine." Wade finally spoke, brushing off Football player guy's hand, as he got up from his chair. Oh crap.

Football player guy put his hand back on Wade's shoulder. "Maybe I think she's lyin'!" It looked like he was trying to push Wade back into the chair, but that wasn't working out to well. "Anyone tell you it ain't Halloween? You creep!"Oh Crap!

"And why would you think that?" Rather than brush of jock guy's hand again Wade opted to pushing him back. Causing jock guy to fall flat on his ass and go sliding a bit. Oh Crap!

I shot out of my seat and so did the jock's friends while yelling 'Mack'. Mack, the jock, was helped by his friends and ready for a fight. "Ok! Time to go! Thanks for the concern but honestly I'm fine." I started pushing a protesting Deadpool towards the back doors. "We should be leaving any way." I felt somebody grab left arm and try to pull me back. With out even thinking I turn around and swung at whoever had grabbed me. When my brain caught up with my body I looked down to see Mack on the ground clutching a bloody nose. "OH MY GOD! Are you you okay? I am so sorry!"

I was actually about to drop to my knees to see if he was alright when Wade grabbed me by my arm and pulled me through the back door. A flash of light followed along with the sudden feeling of my insides being torn apart. We had teleported to another part of the town or to another town entirely (I really had no idea).

I once again threw up everything I ate before groaning out, "No more teleporting... Ever."


	12. Chapter 12

When I could finally stand up again I looked around and found out that Wade's had teleported us to the back parking lot of a Walmart. I knew then exactly what it was I needed to do. **Go Shopping**!

"How long does it take to pick out underwear?" Deadpool whined.

"Oh will you just shut up! It was your choice yo fallow me in." I groaned, throwing a pair socks at his face. We had only been in women's underwear for five minutes! "I'm very particular about these sort of thing. You have fit, color, pattern, and price to considering before you can eve-'" Wade started pulling out a gun, "what are are u doing?" I asked, slowly turning to face him with a hand on my hip.

"What am I doing? I'm about to blow my fucking brains out, again, just so I can put myself out of this ball shrinking nightmare!"

"Will you put that thing away! If you honestly think I'm taking to long try helping!" To my surprise hi actually did start to help. Of course he was mumbling and complaining the whole time, but that was to be expected.

We almost went a whopping two minutes with out talking to each other, before Wade held up a pair of really tacky leopard printed underwear with 'party animal' in bright neon pink sequins spelled out on the butt. "How about these?" I felt like throwing up, again! "Ooo! Or about thi-!"

"No!" I shouted. "Why don't you go pick out some cloths? It's not like you can wear the same stupid jumpsuit all day, every day." I sighed as began to massage my forehead.

"Hey! My costume is not stupid! And I don't wear the same one. I have different ones..."

"On you?" I asked, rolling my eyes as I shifted through racks of bras.

"No, but-"

"Look. The way I see it you have two options: you can 'A' go fine something to do or 'B' stay here and hold this while I finish shopping." I said, holding my purse up for him to take. The look of horror on his face was priceless!

"We'll be in... Somewhere... Not here!" He shouted before practically running away.

"Okay! Keep your hands to your self! That includes shooting people!" It wasn't for another few minutes or so before it dawned on me. "Wait... 'We'?"  
>_<p>

After changing into my new jeans and a t-shirt it dawned on me that I had no idea where Wade was. It wasn't like he phone that I could text and he was always changing the way he looked on a whim. I grabbed my purse and began searching in the men's section thinking that the most logical place for him to be. I would occasionally call out 'Wade' or 'Deapool', but of course he was not there. Next I decide to go look for him in the food section, the electronics section, the toy section, even the men's bathroom! Still I could not fine Wade. After looking for another half hour or so I decided to take my search outside and lo and behold there he was, bright red costume and all.

Deadpool sat rocking, back and forth, in a tiny rocket ride meant for toddlers. My jaw hit the ground in sheer disbelief. Behind me a small kid shouted "Mom! Why is Spider-Man riding the rock?" I face palmed. I could just image the mother rushing to collect her child, and whispering something along the lines of 'don't stare' or 'it's rude to point'. If I walk away now maybe he won't see, I thought, slowly bending to pick up my bags. But as always my luck was never that good.

Just as I was walking back in to Walmart a very loud, very obnoxious voice called out my name. "Ally!" I didn't need to turn around to know it was Wade calling out, trying to get my attention. "Awesome you're done! Hey! Wait up." I damn sure did not 'wait up'. I fact I think I sped up a little. I know I'm not the epitome of adult hood seeing how I sold my soul for a new car, but come on! What grown ass man would ride a kiddy ride! Wade hade to be at least five to ten years older than me and was twenty-two at the time! By the time Wade had caught up to me, I was already toward the back of the store in the hunting section. "Geez Ally, slow down."

I abruptly stopped and turned around. "Let me stop you there. My name is Alysia! No Al, not Ally, and only my mother is allowed to call me Ally Cat. I call you by your name, don't I?"

"Yeah about that.," I almost didn't realize that he had changed back into the guy from the bank, "Seeing how I'm your boss and all, I think you should start calling me Deadpool."

"Why?" We were now in front of the knife display case, him standing and me leaning against the glass bags still in hand.

"Gotta keep up my reputation! Wade don't exactly scream badass mercenary." Wade then turn from me to the man working the counter. "Hey, can I see that one?" The man gave a nod before opening a glass show case and pulling out a a black and green camouflage rifle. The second the gun touched Wade's hands he began working it like a pro. He cocked the rifle before aiming it up at some poor bird that had accidentally gotten trapped inside and was flittering among the light. He even when as far as turning on the laser pointer attached to the scope, before shouting "Bang!" loud enough for the bird to freak out a fly away. I rolled my eyes.

"You sure know what you're doing." The man commented.

"You can say that." Wade replied setting the rifle on the glass counter top. "How much?"

"Whoa! Whoa! Slow down Wade!" I said while stepping in between him and the counter. "Wade you can not buy a gun."

"Of course I can. I tell the man which one I want, pay him, and _badda bing badda boom_ we're all home in time for taco Tuesday!"

"First of all it's like Sunday. Second no you can't. You don't have a permit!" I exclaimed. I tried to nudge him away from the counter but it hadn't worked.

"Permit?" I wanted to laugh so badly at the look of confusion on his face.

"Yeah, permit! You kind of need one to buy a guns. You also have to complete a background check form and pass it before a Federal Firearms Licensed shop will sell you a gun. Some states even require a waiting period of like three... Four days?" I look over to the man behind the counter for help.

"Eight." The man volunteered.

"Thank you! Eight days before you can purchase the one you want."

"What?!" Wade looked even more confused than he did before.

"Don't they have gun control laws in... Where you're from?" I thought gun control was a universal concept.

"No!" Okay so I forgot which universe we were talking about. Who could blame me?

"That actually makes a lot of senses..." I said while trying to usher Wade away. "You're still not getting one."

"This isn't over! I'll be back!" He called to the man behind the counter.  
>_<p>

Just as we were about to leave the hunting section a loud, raspy voice called out to Wade and I. "Hey you two!" We turned around to see a man just a tall, almost sickly thin man with brown greasy brown hair and a gross pencil thin mustache rushing toward us. He stumbled a few times, but eventually got to us. "I hear you two were lookin ta get some guns?" Oh my god! I can still remember that guy's breath! It was horrible! Like something crawled in and died!

"Um n-". Before I could finish the sentence Wade slapped his hand over my mouth. On the bright side I couldn't smell creepo over there anymore. The down side was that I could hardly breathe!

"What of it?" I was trying to pry his hand off one finger a a time, but every time I would get done with one the other one would snap right back into place.

"I could help y'all out. Ya see I know t'is guy that could get you some real quick. But it's gotta be today and ya gotta have cash. " I bit Wade's hand as hard I could, he didn't feel a thing.

"Oh we have cash." Using his other hand to reach around me Wade tore my bag away from me and held it up. "Plenty of cash." My muffled protest went unheard.

"Sweet! Y'all can fallow me ta his place when you and yer a... Girlfriend are done shoppin'. I'll be waitin' out front." I tried really hard to scream I'm not his girlfriend but Wade's massive hand was making it hard to get my point across. The smelly creep had turned to walk away when Wade stopped him.

"Actually, we're a little short on wheels right now... Mind giving us a ride?" I was horrified!

"Um... Yeah sure. Not a problem." With that the random creep shrugged, scratched the back of his head, and walked away.

After a few minutes of standing there I elbowed in the stomach to remind him that he stupid hand was still covering my mouth. That was a huge mistake! The second my elbow made contact with his stomach pain shot through it. "Ow!" He loosened his grip on my face just enough for me to pull away. "Ow ow ow! WHAT THE HELL? Are you pack rocks under there or something?" I was clutching my elbow like it was going to fall off at any moment!

"Yeah! Eight last time I checked." Wade said grinning like a complete asshole.

That caught me off guard. "Holy shit dude! Eight?" His nodded. I tried to pictured that for a sec before declaring "I wanna see!"

"Maybe later, but right now we have guns to buy." He said while almost pulling me toward the store entrance.

"You have guns to buy. I'm am in no way participating in this. It sounds extremely illegal."

"Oh come on! You already robbed a bank how much worse can this be?"

"No, you robbed the bank." I corrected, pulling my arm out of his grip and taking back my purse.

"Okay fine! But you helped me get way!"

"You pushed me out of my car and almost ran me over trying to get away!"

"Oh shut up!" And with that we walked the rest of the way through the store in silence.

The car ride was a living hell! The whole time Wade and the creep, who by then had introduced him self as Larry, talked about how awesome Taco Bell was when you were high. As if to add insult to injury there where Taco Bell bags and wrappers all over the back seat where I was sitting . On the bright side the ride was defiantly short lived.

We arrived about fifteen minutes after leaving Walmart and in all honesty the house wasn't a pretty sight. The sun was casting an eery light over every thing. The grass was dead, the bushes were dead, and the barking dog looked almost dead. Once I got out of the car I found out that it smelled like something was dead. Only thing that didn't seen dead was a six foot tall cactus that jutted up from the yard.

"Alright y'all should know that he's a little stressed out right now. But I'm sure he won't mind havin a few customers." Larry said while walking up toward the front door. He bent over and pulled out a key from under the door mat. Reluctantly I fallowed him and Wade inside. Compared to the outside, the inside wasn't much better. The carpet was covered in stains and torn up in places. There were even stains on the peeling wall paper. And it smelled like something had in fact died. "Hey Frankie! Ya here?"

In stormed a Frankie. He was a short, squat man standing at about 5"4' and weighing 260lb easily. He was noticeably balding, but tried to cover it up with a comb over. He must have been sleeping because or something because he walked out in only a wife beater and some boxers. "Larry you stupid S.O.B, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?"

"Sorry Frankie. I didn't mean to wake you." Larry said throwing up his hands in surrender. "I was just walkin around Walmart when I heard these guys were lookin to buy. I knew ya could use the money so I drove 'em out here to meet you." He took a step away so the shorter man could get a better look at us.

"Jesus Christ! I've got the Cartel chewing my ass and you think a few, cheap bucks is going ta help me out?" Farina kid shouted. The two continued to go back and forth over and over again, but I stoped listening at the word _**CARTEL**_.

I tried to get Wade's attention as discreetly as possible and by discreet I mean I kicked him as hazard as I could in the shin. "Ouch! The hell is your problem?" Wade hissed looking at me as though I lost my mind.

"I think we should get out of here!" I wasn't discreet enough because at that moment both Larry and Frankie turned to look at us.

"Y'all can't leave yet! Ya just got here!" Larry panicked.

"Yeah... What's your hurry?"

"Well you're clearly in a bad mood and out of- stock! Yeah, that's the word... So ya know we'll just be on our way." I said, slowly backing my way towards the door with every word. If these guys was mixed up with the Cartel I really wanted to be nowhere near them.

"That depends on what it is yer try I to buy." He said turning away from Larry to face me. He looked me over before stating, "I'm all out of drugs." I was deeply offended! I dont even look I do drugs! Sure my hair was probably still a mess and sure my makeup was more than likely still smeared in places. But that doesn't my look like a druggie, right?

"Then it's a good thing we're not here to buy some." Wade interjected, taking a step forward. "I'm here to get some guns."

"Well in that case," Frankie turned around and walked back into the room he came from, "fallow me!" And fallow we all did.


	13. Chapter 13

I would just like to clarify somethings before I continue. We didn't actually follow Frankie to his bed room so much as we followed him in to his closet, and by closet I mean a trap door under the closet that led down in to secret underground room. I'm serious! This man had a freaking Batcave under his house!

"What the hell is this place?" I tried not to sound too freaked out. Things seemed to have taken a turn for the crazy ever since Wade came crashing into my living room. Discovering my boss/boyfriend cheating on me, finding out that my biological father left me over thousands of dollars in cash and jewelry, being accused of bank robbery. My life was rapidly turning in to an episode of Burn Notice!

"A bomb shelter, built in the 50's I think. Found it five days after movin' in up stairs"  
>The room we all climbed down into was relatively small with a low curved ceiling. It had a little cot sized bed on the right, a small tv sitting on a nightstand to the left, and a door on the back wall. "Ignore the mess... I've been stayin' down here lately." Paper and clothes littered the floor making an already narrow walkway even harder to walk through. I don't know if it was the sweaty man smell or the fact that it's almost been two days sense I held down a meal, but I was starting to feel really light headed.<p>

"Because of the Cartel right?" Larry asked, hitting his head on a hanging light fixture.

"Yeah." Frankie

We followed Frank into a room five times as wide and more the ten times longer then the one we left. Huge would have been a gross understatement. Unlike the the small, messy bedroom we had come from, this room was clean and organized. Wooden boxes, ranging in size, were neatly stacked from floor to ceilings in rows. Every box was labeled with the gun model and country I assume it was smuggled from. In the very back it could barely see a line of paper targets. I was starting to get really dizzy again so I sat down on the nearest bow. Not paying any attention to what the label might have said.

As you could probably guess Wade was a kid in a candy store. He (unlike me) wasted no time in admiring the decor. The second he made it through the door he darted from box to box, naming them off one right after the other. Guns have never been my thing, I couldn't really understand what was so impressive, so I just sort of shrugged.

"Hey you brake it you buy it!" Shouted Frankie when Wade began trying to rip the crate lids open. At the time I may not have known a lot about Deadpool, but did know for a fact that super strength was not his thing. I mean sure he may be slightly stronger then the average joe but nothing 'super'.

"Yeah yeah yeah, somebody get me a crowbar." Wade said while still trying to pull off the box lid.

"I'll get it!" Volunteered Larry. He took two steps towards the door before turning back around with a confused look on his face. "Umm... Where is it again?"

"You idiot! Do I gotta do every thing my self?" Frankie reached up and grabbed Larry by the ear and stated did raging him toward the door."How many times -" the rest of what he was saying got cut off when the door closed behind them.

"Wade I really think we should get out of here." I said,while trying hard to not sound paranoid.

"Do you really think this is my first time doing this, kid? Because if so, news flash, it's not! Sure the underground shelter thing is new, but the rest is pretty much the same in my world as it is here. So relax!" He had dropped the holo-projection-thingy in between sentences and was back in his red and black jumpsuit.

"I will not relax and I don't care if you've done this before or not! If this little deal of yours goes sideways or something, I'll be the one catching a bullet, not you!"

"What", he grunted still trying to rip open the crate, "makes you think I won't get shot too?"

"It doesn't matter if you get shot or not. You'll bounce back. I won't." I said crossing my arms in annoyance. I got up from the crate I was sitting on and stomped over to him like a five year old. "For the love of god! Quit it with the crate! This is serious!"

"Are you always this annoying?" A rumbling sound echoed through the large cavernous room.

"What was that?" I tried not to sound scared and by the look on Wade's masked face I was failing.

When the rumbling stopped a few light thumps could be heard fallowed by the faint sound of someone shouting. The shouting got louder and so did the thumping. I could hear Frankie's voice yelling along with Larry's, but they weren't speaking English. When gun fire began mixing with the the sound of yelling I dropped to the ground. "Oh my god! What is going on!"

"Sh! Stay here I'm going to find out." Before I could even reply Wade disappeared before my eyes.

"What? Wade!" I started to get up when another round of gunfire and shouting echoed thought the room. Needing very little convincing I decided to stay on the ground. Not one to go into anything unarmed I started searching for anything that I could used for a weapon. You would think in a bomb shelter full of smuggled guns finding a weapon would be extremely easy. It wasn't. I had to crawl past a few stacks of crates before I found something. Ironically that something was the then the shouting had stopped and the rumbling began again. But almost as soon as the rumbling started it slowly faded away into silence.

I got up off the ground and slowly started to walk toward the door that would lead me up stairs while holding the crow bar like a baseball bat. I stumbled through the small bedroom a bit while trying to get to the ladder that would take me back up stairs. Once I climbed the ladder the room I originally thought was Frank's bed room looked untouched, sans a flipped over bed. When I entered the living room on the other and everything was trashed. Bullet holes filled the walls and I couldn't take a step with out almost slipping on shells. I heard thumping coming from another room and began walking toward it, holding the crowbar in the ready.

When I got to the room the door was already open and the lights were turned off. I was feeling around on the wall for a a light switch but couldn't find one when I heard the thumping again.

"Wade?" There wasn't a reply so I called out a little louder. "Wade!" Light from the hallway reflected off a thin, dangling chain coming from the ceiling. I relaxed a bit finally finding the light switch and walked over to turned it on. But right when the lights came on-

"BOO!" I'll be honest I screamed like a little girl and blindly swung the crowbar in the direction the voice came from. "Ow! Ouch! Stop!" Just because scream like a little girl does not mean I hit like one.

I opened my eyes and got a good look at a familiar red and black mask. "Wade!" I yelled angrily, hitting him with the crowbar. I was aiming for his face, but he kept blocking my hits with is arm. "You asshole!"

"Ow! Fuck! Stop!" I wasn't going to, but Wade caught the crowbar a tore it from my hands and through it across the room.

"Why would you do that?" I said, taking deep breaths. That was the first time I saw my life flashed across my eyes. "What happen up there?"

"You remember that cartel you worried about earlier. Yeah, I think they just grabbed our guy, Frankie. Look." Replied Wade, stretching out his arm and shoulder. I heard a loud crack followed by a grunt. "Much better." He pointed at something behind me and I turned around.

"Wait! What? How did I miss that?" On the wall a Mexican skull with a knife going through the mouth and coming out of its eye, was spray painted on. Underneath 'Cuchillos De Los Muertos' was scrawled in black paint.

"Know who did this?"

"No. But this," I said pointing to the what was written beneath the skull, " says 'Knives Of The Dead'. Maybe that's their name." Out of nowhere the thumping I heard before fallowed by the sound of muffled yelling filled the room. Both our heads snapped in the direction the noise was coming from, a closed closet door. "What is that?"

"What makes you think I know?" He said shrugging, "Why don't you go find out."

"Why me? You're the one with the guns! You do it."

"No you."

"You do it."

"No you."

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You times infinity! I win! Now open the damn door." Wade's voice dropped to a low threading tone as he pulled one of his guns on me. I put my hands up in defense while slowly backing away toward the closet. As I got closer the thumping and muffled yelling got louder. Once I reached the door I took a deep breath, before throwing open the door.

When I opened the door Larry came rolling out. I'm not entirely sure what it was I expected to be in the closet, but I definitely didn't expect him to be in there. I thought he died in the in the crossfire, or had gotten taken along with Frankie.

"They took him! They took Frankie! You gotta help me get him back! Please!" Larry yelled. He had crawled over to me and was by then latched on to me left leg like some sort of child. I tried pulling away from him, but only succeeded in dragging him across the room. "Please! This is all my fault!" The poor guy was about to start crying.

"Okay! We'll help! Just let go of me!" Larry latched on even tighter and didn't appear to be letting go anytime soon. I turned to Wade with pleading eyes. Mentally I was screaming 'Help!' Thankfully Wade got the message. He walked over, grabbed Larry by the back of his neck, and tore him off of me.

"Keep talking Larry. What do you mean 'this is all your fault'?" Larry must not have seen Wade when I he rolled out of the closet, because he was freaking out a little bit.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Correction he freaked out a lot. He wrong himself out of Wade's grip and dropped to the floor. Quickly he scrambled backward until he hit a wall. "Wh- Who the hell are you?" He screamed, pointing at Wade.

"WHAT THE HELL! Does anyone know who I am here?" Wade shouted, throwing his hands into the air. I just shrugged, not knowing what he wanted me to say. "Look! Names Deadpool, remember it!" He got real in to Larry's face for the last part. Larry just kinda nodded dumbly.

"Let's try to stay focused guys. Larry look at me." I said, forcing Deadpool to move and Larry to look at me. "What did you do?"

"I was just supposed to drive the truck. We, Frankie and me, were movein' some drugs to another spot. When we got in an accident! I don't know what happened. I blacked out. I woke up I was in an ambulance and the drugs where gone. Now the cartels got Frankie!" I was a little confused how the car accident was Larry. I mean was he drunk, texting, drunk texting? But Larry was extremely shaken up and wouldn't be able to answer any questions coherently for a while. So I thought up a plan B.

"Larry do you have a phone?" He nodded. After reaching into his back pocket, Larry shakily handed me a his smart phone. Smiling I took the phone and turned to Wade. "Wade! I have an idea!"

"But I thought you said your name was Deadpool..."

"Not now Larry!" Wade groaned. "What cha got?"

"So I typed in 'Cuchillos De Los Muertos'. According to google the local organized crime unit has been looking into a man by the name of Mariano Torres has the leader of the 'Cuchillos De Los Muertos'. They tried one arrest but it didn't stick and Mariano was released."

"Any pictures of what this Mariano Torres looks like?" Wade said taking the phone from my hands. We both sort of forgot about Larry by this point.

"No but if you back out of that website and scroll down you'll find an address." I pointed out, trying to reach over his shoulder. Wade pushed me off his back

"Larry we're going to need your car keys. Alysia go get your purse. After that find the kitchen and grab a knife. A big one."

"Why?" Larry asked picking himself up off the floor.

"I got an idea. Now let's go people! Chop chop!"

* * *

><p>"Wade I don't think this is a good idea!" I hissed under my breath while passing him the binoculars. We were parked out side the front gates of a huge Spanish style mansion. "This place is built like a fortress! I saw two guards patrolling the outside of the wall, another two or three patrolling the inside, three guys on the roof, and all of them have guns."<p>

"You forgot the guy cutting the grass." Wade said handing me back the binoculars.

"What? He has a gun too?" I scanned the the grounds for the landscaper. When I found him he was crouched over a bed of flowers. "I don't see it."

"Try to zoom in on his crotch when he turns back around." Wade said pulling up the bottom half of his mask and opening a bag of chips.

So I waited and waited until the landscaper got up from his crouching position. When he turned around I zoomed in, lo and behold there was a slight bulge around his crotch! I burst out laughing. "Are you sure that's a gun? He could just be happy to see us." I giggled. Wade caught on to the joke and broke out laughing with me. "Why would anyone hide a gun there?"

"Hell if I know. I did it once and will never do it again."

"Wait! You shot off your own junk?" I was laughing even harder!

"It was an accident! Besides it grew back..." I was clutching my sides laughing. "Yeah yeah yeah! Laugh it up! Do you remember the plan?"

I calmed down a bit, wiping a tear from eye. "What plan? All you said was I have and idea and let's do. Because Larry lost his car keys in the shooting you hot wired the car. Then we drove to a gas station. We bought all the chips in and sodas they had."

"I know! Good times." Wade interrupted opening up a bag of Doritos and stuffing a handful in to his mouth.

"And now we're sitting out side of the house of a cartel boss! When did you mention a plan?" I was finished laughing and had my arms crossed under my chest.

"Just distract the leader and leave everything else to me. You remember to grab the knife?"

"Yeah. Here you go mr Myers." I reached under me seat and pulled out a large kitchen knife. "I hope you realize you're literally bringing a knife to a gun fight."

Wade shrug off my comment and took the knife. "Your point? At least I'm bringing something. What are you bringing? A purse?"

My eyes grew as I realized he was right! "Can I barrow one of your guns?"

"Nope." With that wade proofed out of the car and i was left alone. Alone and gun less. Shit. I hit my head agents the steering wheel a few times trying to think of a game plane. How was I suppose to distract a cartel boss? How was I suppose to get in side was a better question.

"Well here goes nothing." I sighed grabbing my purse from the back.

Once I was out, I calmly walked over toward the front gate. I knew everyone patrolling the mansion grounds was watching me. Did just get out of a car that had been sitting in the same spot for about twenty minutes after all. Before I could make it to the gate one of the guys patrolling the outside of the wall ran up to meet me half way.

"Can I help you, miss?" The guy had a heavy accent and a gravely voice. He wasn't a very tall, but what he lacked in hight he more than made up for in muscle. The guy was wearing a black wife beater with some cargo shorts and a pair of sunglasses. He had his arms crossed over his chest showing off a tattoo, of a Mexican skull with a knife going through its mouth and coming out its eye, on his bicep. At least we're in the right place.

"Hi! I'm um... Here to talk to your boss. Mariano Torres?" On the inside I was totally thinking 'Shit! I sound like a realtor. Shit! Shit! What was I thinking! Why did I agree to this? I'm going to die!'

* * *

><p>Thank you jh831 for telling me!<p> 


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